Sylvie’s Project; Naked Unbreakable!

It was really exciting to be back for another Spirited Bodies event. So many things happened since the last one… I couldn’t believe it…

I felt a bit stressed after a busy day and I arrived a bit late so I didn’t have the time to talk with my fellow models. Once my dressing gown was off I felt at ease and very comfortable. I challenged myself with some tricky poses and I was able to think of what could be interesting to the artists.

I went to a Life Drawing Class with London Drawing which was really interesting as an artist and as a model… I think it helped me to explore my limits!

Back in February, at my first naked event for Spirited Bodies, I was still under the shock of the pain I was going through, emotionally and physically and I nearly didn’t make it and I am so glad I did because it opened a new door for me… meeting like minded people, creating beautiful connections and friendships changed something in me.

For the last month I kept going through it: one weekend I am in so much pain I hurt myself and the next I am standing somewhere naked, meeting beautiful people… and something beautiful came out of it!

On my blog, I came across the “Project Unbreakable”: a young American Woman takes pictures of victims of abuse who are holding a sign on which is written a quote by their abuser. I asked Esther if it was possible for me to have my picture taken during the event so I could then send them to this project. Esther’s been so supportive and as it turned out a photographer was also modelling that evening. He was happy to take the pictures and also found a wonderful way to get the other models involved in supporting me.

I was sexually abuse by my entire family: my Mum, my big brother, my Uncle, my granddad…

Last year I decided to break all contact with them and although I knew it will be emotional I didn’t expect having 3 nervous breakdowns in 9 months… I nearly didn’t survive any of it…

I decided to join Spirited Bodies to give myself and my body a beautiful experience… to remind myself of how beautiful I am…

Well, last Wednesday, I had the most powerful experience ever when I found myself sitting down, holding the sign:”No one will ever love you-My Mum” and surrounded by my fellow models reaching out to me, supporting me. I said: “Maybe I should send this to my Mum!!”

In this moment I knew I’ve won in my heart and in my life, loved and supported by so many wonderful people and so many wonderful friends.

So contrary to what my Mum used to tell me: I am loved and I am loving… everyday.

I’d like to say a big “Thank you” to my lovely Esther for your friendship and for your support, and also to Lucy, Charlie and all my fellow models from the February event and the last.

Big Love and Light,

Sylvie Rouhani- 25^th of March 2012

Sylvie has 2 blogs: http://healingtogether.tumblr.com/  which is for and about survivors – male & female – of sexual abuse, &  http://happylittlebuddha.tumblr.com/  her more personal space

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