Female Orgasm & Orgasmic Meditation

TEDx SF 2011 Alive - Nicole Daedone ©Suzie Kat...
TEDx SF 2011 Alive – Nicole Daedone ©Suzie Katz #4103 (Photo credit: TEDx SF)

This is about the art of stroking the clitoris, watching it, paying it 100% attention and talking and listening to our partners about how it feels. Or perhaps the art of having your clitoris stroked by someone else.

Last week my favourite club posted an event on Facebook about a talk on Female Orgasm. Basically if more women came more the world would be So Much better. If more women were turned on there would be more happiness. So a new movement spreads the message about a 15 minute daily practice which we share with a partner; a meditation that focuses on the clit and is mutually beneficial for giver and receiver . It is not something we can do to ourselves because the only way we can really let go is by entrusting another to enable us. Nicole Daedone (who came up with this ‘Orgasmic Meditation’) says it is nature’s way of pushing us to connect with others; if we could actually do everything alone we might not bother with each other. We Need to connect with others in order to feel our best.

Nicole says when women meet potential partners we are scanning and prodding for signs – we feel turned on when we receive a signal that they pay us the right sort of attention, that they take extremely good care of us. When we feel truly safe and that we are in the hands of someone who will take better care of us when we are at our most vulnerable than we would ourselves, then we may be turned on and even fall in love. At the time of orgasm a woman is technically vulnerable, she has let all her defenses down. For once she is relaxed and just enjoying being.

Someone asked “What do men get out of this practice?” Nicole asked the audience for the answer and a guy immediately responded: “They get to see someone unfold and open up in amazing ways, and just by being part of the process it affects them in a profound way too  – it takes both parties to a higher state from where everything is lighter.”
How does this relate to Spirited Bodies? There is the element of nudity or semi nudity involved in the practice, and the fact that it’s about loving ourselves as we are. That it may be performed with someone close to us or a stranger if we desire. It is not necessarily a prequel to sex, it can be just what it is, and that is the point. To focus just on that and on enhancing the way we are generally by a few simple techniques. It may be easier than life modelling in some ways, more difficult in others, but both can be liberating.

Before you get to try orgasmic meditation there may be several blocks. Like just being with someone, intimately. It could be that being nude with others and possibly touching in a minimal, non sexual way could open the path towards allowing orgasmic meditation into someone’s life.

The idea with Orgasmic Meditation is that it is not just for couples but for sharing with anyone you feel comfortable with. It may be between female friends or with male friends who are not lovers, just someone who will respect and appreciate the experience.

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Hello, I am the model, now let’s put you on a Pedestal

Tomorrow is our 1st workshop of the season and Steve who modelled with us in Mortlake is kindly stepping into the breach; as the new models arrive he will be in pose, greeting them with a cracker to get their teeth into. Whether they are familiar with drawing or not, all will be introduced to charcoal and paper so that they can analyse poses from an artist’s perspective. Seeing the model like that shows one how hard drawing is and how technical before expression is really unleashed.

Each new model will have a chance to pose and be drawn, and we will build up the number of models so that we can have a look at tableaux. New models don’t have to be nude as we will be, but if they want to be that’s fine. Just getting used to being still and watched intently is enough for some; there’ll be plenty of time for birthday suits on October 20th which is in fact Spirited Bodies 2nd Birthday! In October 2010 Morimda called me up to get Lucy’s number – she’d heard what a great organiser Lucy is. I was intrigued and Morimda said she’d send me the brief. ‘Find 20 women to pose nude for artists in one month’s time at the Mall Galleries‘. Wow – there were extra bits about selling the paintings at an auction to raise money for charity, something which has not yet manifested but hasn’t been forgotten. We are just waiting for the right collaboration. With London Drawing the emphasis is more on theatrical life drawing; when we team up with the bang on feminists at Southbank there will be a stronger impetus to push the fundraising element. Time darlings is on our side and everything happens in the right time.

We only found 9 women in the end, but it did not feel too few. They were various ages and shapes, sizes… with different reasons, and they were all new to it. We didn’t coach them beyond encouraging emails and on the day it was a massive rush as the format at the Mall is intense with very little time either side, but my Goodness it worked and it was magic! After that Morimda got busy elsewhere, Lucy was baffled by the craziness of it all – why should it work I mean rationally how is that project going to have a future?! And I couldn’t let it go. It wanted to happen and my main other project was writing a play about my family which was far too close to the bone. I needed a damn good distraction which is exactly what Spirited Bodies was.

I’m getting excited about this big event coming up and beyond as well. Some of the people who model with us are professionals – including some actors – and some have come back to us once or more and with these models amongst the totally new ones it really will be possible to create a variety of striking tableaux all at once. Think I’ll count down the days to 20/10/12 as we prepare the icing for a very special cake.

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Performing Stillness & the Wild Women of Wandsworth

Missing performing yet engrossed in all things Spirited Bodies I find myself pondering a more performative event though still with various folks modelling. Ursula who modelled at the last 2 SB sessions is a performance poet and wanted to combine her talent with the SB format. Maybe I am just too precious about what we do but I feel she would not be the only one with designs on an additional role. I suggested she gets in touch with Sarah Small who does provide a real opportunity for nude model/performers in an amazing context. http://www.livingpictureprojects.com/ Small’s productions are grand, operatic and extend to unusual movement artists. They are not for life drawing, nor for the same purpose (as us) of giving a possibility to those who had not considered it or find it a milestone in terms of confidence.

It would require much work, and satisfy another part of me, to choreograph a nude performance with some voice and movement, still with a chance to be drawn and also to be watched by another audience. A mixture as we already are of totally new models and the more experienced, many of whom have performance skills to offer.

The inspiring Tableau Vivant of Sarah Small:

May 2011 – 120 Model Tableau Vivant – Skylight One Hanson from The Delirium Constructions on Vimeo.

Back to the present time and Lucy and I have been engaging in the gate crashing of several Wandsworth based women’s meetings and what a spectrum. From the Women of Wandsworth Enterprise Launch Lunch on the Kambala Estate which is mainly for single Mums who so frustrated with the difficulties of finding work have decided to create a networking group to help them start their own businesses, to the well to do ladies of the Women’s Institute situated in the posher parts of Wimbledon and Putney. An eye-opener indeed. For someone who runs a community project I almost felt inadequate as I listened to the wide range of skills and experience the Wandsworth Mums have between them. They spanned many backgrounds from accounting, finance, community cohesion, teaching, campaign groups and much more, and the common refrain was that having children had thrown them off course. It was a privilege to attend their 1st Enterprise meeting and Lucy has been invited to demonstrate a working business plan at the next. They have already won awards (as their home organisation Women of Wandsworth) for all their community operations – saving libraries, playgrounds, and generally helping each other out. We of course hope some of them will model!

At the W.I. I felt a bit in the way, though I imagine every district has its own flavour (there’s more to come) and to actually be booked as a speaker needs months of advance procedures.

Here are some lovely pictures from the Enterprise Launch with WoW Mums (NB we haven’t found the Wild Women of Wandsworth yet but I think they may be ranging about on Wandsworth Common perhaps to be seen on a full moon night. At least I am hoping).

2 guys present: speaker from Job Centre Plus – Ray Ward, and a male WoW supporter
nothing exists without a photo these days!

Communicating a Pose: from Model to Artist (to canvas)

My practical application of life drawing techniques is pretty ropey. I’ve heard and seen a lot; but done – there I lack. When instructing others on how to draw me I explain – “Convey my essence, what does the pose feel like? Express that with your charcoal marks!”

Today I observed the communication process again. My typical poses are not often like naturalism, I mean mainly my shorter poses (less than half an hour). They are abstract, geometric, dynamic, concerned with balance and not obviously expressive of an emotion. They are about form. As I shift from angular shape to perpendicular groove, it is my body that tells me which way to go. Or rather it just does it. Today I saw/felt an artist watching me first, before he put pencil to paper. Taking it in – ‘what does it mean?’

I looked at myself: balancing on the sides of my feet, legs crossed, back leaning slightly forward and arms out front about belly level, hands together in an almost begging fashion. My head was tilted up and to the left. I thought: “There is nothing obvious which I am telling you, at least not with your left brain. So best not to analyse too much.” I was right all along. Feel the essence, don’t think about it. Take time to absorb the information given before your eyes, your senses. Then translate to paper. Measure by all means; but let the charcoal interpret the meaning, which in any case never need be clear. Not in linear terms at least. It may strike on another plane.

by the artist in question, Joe Goldman at Idun Eustace’s class (Wimbledon Art Studios); longer pose

Next week we have another meeting for new models; this time at Battersea Arts Centre on Wednesday 19th September, 7-9pm.

Also we have life modelling workshops lined up where participants get to try drawing each other as well as us. The emphasis is not on being able to draw, rather on seeing what the model is from the artist’s point of view. These are on Wednesday evenings of 26th September and 3rd October at Battersea Library. This is great preparation for our event on October 20. Do get in touch to book a place, there is a charge of £10. Drawing materials provided.

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John turned up to a meeting, and made us look good!

Spirited Bodies with The Drawing Theatre, February 2012

Seriously, we couldn’t have paid him to big us up more! And he wrote this about us on Streetlife:

“I participated in Spirited Bodies’ last event at Battersea Arts Centre; it was one of the best, and most interesting, things I have done this year. If you have any curiosity about what it would be like to be a life model, go along to meet the organisers (at the Leather Bottle tonight), or contact them via Streetlife. I had no knowledge of Spirited Bodies before signing up, and no modelling experience.

I would particularly encourage you if “public performance” – in its widest definition – is any part of your life. Whether it is acting, music (like me), public speaking, giving presentations, teaching, or just interviewing for a job, most people need the confidence to put themselves in front of other people, and I can guarantee Spirited Bodies will give you that.

SB leaders Lucy and Esther are very organised, prepare their events rigorously, and have a real gift for putting newbie models like me at their ease, telling them what to expect, and helping you get the most out of the experience.  They are very patient with novices, make sure everyone is comfortable with what they are doing, and are not expecting you to have the perfect body or any experience, just a willingness to try.  I didn’t notice the gender balance, but it seemed about 50/50.

They also liaise with the artists, who are very professional, enthusiastic and really appreciate the models giving their time in service of their art. It’s really interesting to see the finished product at the end of the day; artists’ view of your body may be very different to your own perception. If you have any thoughts about the whole issue of body image, this experience will vastly enhance your mindset.  The art group is very structured, and SB works with the organisers to ensure there is no inappropriate behaviour or time wasting. The artists are much too focused for that. I was surprised to learn there are rules and a certain etiquette applied to life modelling, and the organisers take it seriously. For example, models are not allowed to appear naked except when and where they are posing.

Actually, one of the best things about the day was meeting the models themselves. There were about 20 of us and a more diverse, educated,  engaged and welcoming group is hard to imagine. They were truly impressive as people. Models came in every body type, age, ethnicity, and background. Sure there was some nervousness at first among the first-timers, but we were inspired by the professional life models, who were awesome! They make it look easy, but there’s more to it than you might think.  Within minutes, everyone was really comfortable and enjoying themselves, and frankly the nudity just didn’t seem to matter. The artists were all clothed, but were far too focused on what they were doing to gawk or giggle.

If you have heard horror stories about having to contort yourself into uncomfortable poses for hours and hours, that won’t happen at Spirited Bodies. We were encouraged to change poses and experiment. Of course it had to be on the coldest day of the year – powerful heaters were provided!

One of the most valuable things was the training session SB organised a few days before the  event. Newbie models (clothed) were invited to try drawing a nude model. Having the tables turned that way made me re-think how I look at bodies, despite my pathetic drawing skills, which were not required or expected.  It also allowed the models to get to know each other before the event, which was helpful. Some of them I should add, are excellent artists themselves.

So if you want a real confidence-building challenge to push yourself beyond your comfort zone, forget that triathlon, Est workshop or fad exercise class, check out Spirited Bodies. You won’t regret it.”

Thanks John, great to see you again.

from Spirited Bodies with The Drawing Theatre, Battersea Arts Centre, February 2012