Opening Up To Transformation

We ask participants to tell us why they want to try life modelling, what it means to them. Sometimes we find it arresting and we ask if we may share their thoughts.

“There are 3 main reasons.

Firstly, the aesthetic ambition: I am fascinated by the idea of the gaze. I spend a lot of my time gazing, spectating, and absorbing art – and indeed life. I want to see how it feels to be on a different side of the arrangement: how I will feel, what kind of emotions it will stir in me, and how I will view myself while being viewed by others.

Secondly, the empowerment. The first time I ever felt truly comfortable in – and confident about – my own body was when I was in some communal showers, surrounded by other women, suddenly realising that we are all different sizes and shapes, and that if you are not a magazine beauty, you can still be beautiful. I loved the sisterliness of that; after many years of a painful and difficult relationship with my own body, it was almost dazzlingly liberating.

Thirdly: after a lifetime of being single, and three years of self-imposed celibacy, there is a frivolous side of me which thinks it is a pity, when I work so hard on my body (maintaining my figure through healthy eating, exfoliating my skin, toning my muscles with exercise, etc) that nobody ever gets to see it except me! I suppose I also hope that, if I feel more confident and empowered, I might have more courage to try to accept relationships in the future – rather than just reject all offers, as I have been doing, for the last seven years, thanks to one bad experience in the past.

So – no pressure! 🙂 “

Published by esther bunting

Performer, artist, writer

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